Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
