i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
