CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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