before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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