Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is it penis luge time yet?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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