Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
