In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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