Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
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What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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