The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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