roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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