apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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