The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Pooping to opera.
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