So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
