Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize