Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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