I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize