he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
