Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
