i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
