If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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