Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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