She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
