im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
