Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
