it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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