Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
