Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
