Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
