im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
