This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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