break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
