So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
