i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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