Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize