I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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