Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
