Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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