Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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