Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need water and some morals
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
