I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
