I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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