You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
