I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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