Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
