Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
