Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
