AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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