mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
