I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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