I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
