I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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