I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
