My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
