You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
