Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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