i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
