I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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