Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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