I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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