I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You are the jesus of drinking
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
