I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
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