i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
